Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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