Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
