Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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