I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
