I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
