I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
