So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
