Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
