I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
