You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
