i already hear my dad disowning me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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