We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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