bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
