Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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