You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
two words: eviction party
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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