You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
