Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
