nut hugger
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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