so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
