Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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