There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
