cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
