Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
