I can't watch pbs sober anymore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the night ended with taco bell and tears
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
