I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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