I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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