is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
