question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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