She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Found the puke drawer
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
