he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize