I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
