Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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