I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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