"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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