Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
