you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
