And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This baby is an asshole
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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