I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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