i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just found a bag of teeth...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
