Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
