my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
