I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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