next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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