you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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