He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
