Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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