I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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