I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
