probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
wow bdsm is so cute
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
