hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
