go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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