hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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